What To Do If You Want To Split
Do’s and Don’ts of Discussing Divorce and Mediation
Some normalcy has returned to society. Lots of families are still quarantined in their homes. We don’t advocate for divorce. We advocate for reasonable outcomes through divorce mediation.
With this additional burden, during the containment, communication between you and your spouse has been strained at the least, for months. It is a good idea to not let this fester because it can turn into contempt. Attempting to mediate parties that have contempt for the other makes it much more difficult to mediate, and less cost-effective. However, it is still possible to reach a resolution.
Once you have made the decision to begin the divorce process, you may take the lead and have a discussion about dissolving the marriage. Make the discussion very calm, non-blaming, and speak from the heart. Even though you’ve been thinking about this for longer than your spouse, deliver the message clearly and gently. We always encourage parties at the mediation table to use the pronoun I when speaking to each other. It is so helpful in keeping the blame game out of the discussion.
Even though you have thought about this, what you want to say. It still will be difficult.
Once you deliver the message the other party might be a whole range of emotions. Hold your ground firmly and gently. Once the disclosure has occurred, it might be important to let the other person collect their emotions. That could take a few days. However long that takes, let the other person breathe.
Circle back around to your spouse to discuss options that should be less damaging like divorce mediation.
From the outset, divorce mediation is a collaborative process where a trained neutral works with both parties and guides the parties through the process of divorce. Reducing conflict, providing solutions, coming to agreements you can live with. Divorce does not have to be ugly.
In order for us to assist in your complete resolution please begin the communication process, jointly. Typically, it works best discussing the mediation with each other, then both reaching out to us via email.
